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Sony Playstation 3

Mar 31, 2007 Uncategorized

Oh boy, I’ve enjoyed laughing and laughing at Sony over the past year for their total fiasco launching the Playstation 3. Partly because I own a 360, but mainly because it’s so much fun watching the fanboys trying to make desperate excuses about the console, it’s price and how Sony has acted. hohohoho.

However I did always admit I would love one – and was pleased to be surprised with a shinyshiny console last week with three games, Ridge Racer 7, Motorstorm and Resistance : Fall of Man.

The console is pretty damned gorgeous and so so quiet compared to the 360, it’s simple things like that which make so much difference, I’ve *had* to keep a DVD player in my lounge because the 360 is just far too noisy to watch films on, now the PS3 has already made me happy by allowing me to get rid of one more device under my TV. Admittedly the price of that is that I now have a console the size of the space shuttle that I have to find a home for.

The interface itself is gorgeous, very sexy and professional, surprisingly the 360 GUI is kind of naff, I’ve always thought so… too many primary colours and whooshing noises.

As for the games, well Resistance was good fun, not anywhere near as good as Gears of War but at least it had amazing weapons, a great story and went on and on and on. I never understand why game makers don’t simply make each bit of the game *slightly longer*, just throw some more enemy in, overall it’ll make the game at least 10-20% longer. Resistance was like that – sometimes you’d clear a level just to have a load more badguys come attack you. Ridge Racer is rubbish, so so rubbish… but Motorstorm is the pick of the bunch, graphically stunning even on my SD TV, amazing physics which really add to the game and such good fun. The only downside is the really heavy rock soundtrack. Remember these are launch games, I whimper to think what games will be like in a year or two (shame we have to wait ages for any new decent titles though).

Two things stand out to make me really rave about the console… the 360 had Geometry Wars but that is *utter rubbish* compared to fl0w. I can’t tell you how amazingly gorgeous and great a game it is – although very short and easy. Secondly, there is a photo slideshow option which makes your photos fall from the sky onto a constantly scrolling white background as if they were real photos being dropped… OK so my description is rubbish, but the effect is so beautiful.

And most, most importantly. The startup animation and music is perfect, and the font for “Playstation 3″ on the case is brilliant!

Ooh, nearly forgot… I’ve owned most of the major consoles of the past decade or so, and one of the things I’ve always spoken with friends about is “When will the graphics look real?”. Well, the free download of Grand Tourismo HD pretty much gets there, but only in replay mode. If you sit back from the TV there are moments in the replay where it looks like real film of a real car.

Altered Carbon

Mar 31, 2007 Uncategorized

Have just finished Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan, it was a good fun read. Set in the future where peoples bodies are just “sleeves” that can be replaced in the event of death, it follows a private detective (or “clever psycho thug” more accurately) trying to solve a case of apparent suicide.

I marked a few good passages as I read…

• “Leave your hands right there, and sit the rest of you down. You twitch a finger and I’ll take it off at the wrist”
• “My nose broke with a sensation like biting into celery” (ouchy)
• “There was an attempt at humour floating in her voice, rather like a corpse in a swimming pool”

The story was well paced and ended well, it was never going to be high brow fiction but it kept me gripped. One interesting concept it brought up was that it was possible (but illegal) to have your mind/personality downloaded into multiple bodies (which could be different, or exact clones) at the same time… and had some pretty intense ideas about the sexual possibilities this brought up!

You asked for this…

Mar 23, 2007 Uncategorized

Right, so let’s recap…

• She’s evil, tick
• She’s cutting, tick
• She wear shorts, to work, TICK
• She’s vulnerable, just watch her eat cake!, tick
• She’s in love, awww, tick
• The shorts, tick!
• The eyebrows and the mischievous look, wow, tick!
• This serves you right hehe

Can’t be arsed to do individual reviews…

Mar 19, 2007 Uncategorized

• The Departed. Really good, 7.5/10. But you kind of knew it was all going to end badly. Strong cast. Ouchy Ouchy Coat Stand
• Open Water 2. Waste of 1.5hrs of my life, 5/10
• Casino Royale. 6/10. Started great, got very messy and confused towards the end, what a shame.
• Hannibal Rising. Shutup and get on with the movie and stop putting in half baked references to his later life! 3/10.

Will you people ever learn?

Mar 16, 2007 Uncategorized

Right, first I have to tell you all how to survive in a horror film scenario, now after watching Open Water 2 it seems like I have to tell you how to survive being stupidinaboat.

1. Firstly and most importantly, look out for the troublemakers. These tend to be emotional women or agressive men. Keep a safe distance from these sorts as they’ll tend to destroy/lose the one bloody thing that is between you and a damp death.
2. There is always an item, *the item* that is going to lead to your rescue. DO NOT LOSE IT OR BREAK IT. Just remember Step 1 and use the item slowly and carefully. If you feel yourself begining to panic (oh you will, you really will) just take a few moments to get control.
3. If everyone else is panicking or being useless, just keep some distance from them otherwise if you do have a useful item and it happens to be a knife, then you’ll just end up stabbing them repeatedly and attracting sharks. Not good (the sharks aren’t good, stabbing the annoying people is).
4. Rank your available options, don’t waste energy. If you think you can somehow leap out of the water defying the laws of gravity then you’re sorely mistaken. Remember there is usually only one solution, the rest are just there for dramatic purpose.
5. Always go sailing with the following types…
• A few annoying people, because they’ll be the ones who die
• Hang around with the Mum’s or cute 20something girls – they’ll be the ones who survive, unfortunately statistically speaking they’ll be the only ones to survive as you’ll die surprisingly at the last moment.
• Someone really boring and practical who’d probably not have gone in the water in the first place.
6. Wasn’t it bloody obvious? Cut a hole in the boat! OK OK according to the rules above this implies that you haven’t lost or broken the knife.
7. Unfortunately, all this advice is useless because the damned script writer is always going to throw a spanner in the works, therefore the only advice I can give you that is fail safe is as follows

• Be a pregnant Mum in all circumstances, you’ll be fine.

I have no idea what this means…

Mar 14, 2007 Uncategorized

But it’s such a great quote. Stephen Hawking has said that he believes the universe spontaneously popped into existence from nothing. He said more work is needed to prove this but we have time because…

• ‘Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.’

RRoawwrrr

Mar 9, 2007 Uncategorized

Wow,

The first day I visited my employer, I was in awe. The offices were massive, by a lake and posh (to my delicate eyes). But embarrassingly I was most impressed by a motorised mail trolley they had with *an orange rotating light like an ambulance on the top*. Now, many years later I see the offices, I see the trolley and am ashamed of my naive earlier self.

On Tuesday this week though I was reminded of what pure awe feels like when I visited the Rolls Royce motor cars headquarters near my house for a guided tour. WOW! It was shiny, it was clean and quiet and professional (it is a factory remember!). But most of all it was the silent Rolls Royces being driven along the production line with shiny bits on them (and more importantly each one had a customer name on it as they only build on order). I so want to work there. There were some things that were still very tacky, I don’t think you should be able to order one in an offensive colour, or with your initials or name inlaid into the veneer (ewww), or be a footballer. But overall they were stunning.

However, there was one moment that made me jump with glee. On our guided tour (I was with about 24 work colleagues) we stopped by a scale model of the area, showing the factory and all the roads around. This was ostensibly to show us the natural living roof on top of the factory… but…. along the road… WAS MY HOUSE! They had a little tiny plastic brown monopoly house where I live! So famous!

Am Twittering

Mar 9, 2007 Uncategorized