Everything is Illuminated
May 28, 2007 Uncategorized
Well, just from the title alone you can guess it’s going to be an excellent film, it just couldn’t fail! The story is about Frodo (you know who I mean) retracing his family history in the Ukraine to find the woman who saved his Grandfather in the war. The road trip with the guide (a guy who’s obsessed with American culture), his ‘blind’ Grandfather and the mad seeing-eye bitch Sammy Davis Jr Jr is beautifully filmed and grows from a simple story into a difficult journey into their pasts and the things people did to get through the war. If you hear any of the songs from the soundtrack on you radio you’d throw it out the window – but in this film they were a perfect match for the visuals. I must add the book to my wishlist. Hehe, I kind of imagine the moment when Elijah Wood was given the script and told “it’s a story about a long journey involving a hidden ring”.
I rited sum wordz
May 18, 2007 Uncategorized
I’m slightly, completely, obsessed with ICanHasCheezBurger – a LolCats style website where people upload funny pet (including the fantastically named gebrils) pictures then caption them in pidgin. Bonus points for submissions on Caturday!
Can’t cook, will eat
May 14, 2007 Uncategorized
Bloody Hell. I think recently I’ve become a bit inured to good food and nice hotels because I really had the rug pulled from underneath me at Whatley Manor. Stayed there for one night on Saturday and *wow* it was impressive. It made Amberley Castle seem a bit ordinary! Met by the manager at the door, give them your car keys and they park your car and then give you a tour… the place is gorgeous. Now normally places are gorgeous but then let down by attention to detail (for example the most common is loose tiles in bathroom or dated spa facilities) but this place was pristine! Most impressive of all was the spa. WOW so many rooms to scamper around exploring! They had the biggest hydrotherapy pool I’ve seen, a wave dream sensory room, about 5 different types of steam rooms (with tropical rain showers in between), free salt scrub showers and huge heated stone loungers to flop into when the excitement got too much.
I was sure it couldn’t get any better, but it did – Ainsley Harriot (a famous chef) was one of the guests and I overheard him in the lounge asking about a panini. Now, he wanted to know what was in it etc.etc. and the waitress said “it’s like a sandwich put in a panini press and then cut in half”. Fantastic, hohoho, learn something new each day eh Ainsley!
So, just when it couldn’t get any better… dinner time arrived. We ate in the Dining Room, the Michelin starred restaurant. OK so the decor was a bit chintzy but the service was perfection and the food was even better.
After TWO pre dinner snackette things, one of which was a shot glass filled with a tomato consomme (which was perfectly clear and just tomato perfection) with a small piece of breaded goats cheese and olive tapenade (these little courses are called sommit French and I can never remember) I started with Scottish langoustines. Caramelized, dressed with parsnip puree and truffle essence. Then yet another course between courses before moving on to my main course which was Fillet of Dover sole. Steamed, resting on braised salsify and fennel and topped with truffle foam. MMmm was so nice, each course seemed to have tiny cubes of “gel” (jelly really) as well as having jus, they were so nice! Finally pudding time… except there was no finally, it seemed to go on forever! Firstly they brought out some weird little frothy milkshake thing mmm, then they brought out something else which I think was chocolately but I’ve forgotten, THEN I got my pudding… Caramel soufflé. Dressed with popcorn ice cream and mandarin smoothie. Wow, it wasn’t just popcorn ice cream, it had a little paper cone with popcorn in it! The soufflé itself was so gorgeous and perfectly formed. Mmmm.
So, finished now? Nope. Off to the lounge to have coffee and they bring over a MASSIVE plate of petit fours, seriously about 12 different tiny desserts and chocolates! Then the waiter said “oh, I’m going to get you something… else” and came back with a big wooden box stuffed full of home made chocolates and said Help Yourself!. There were mint and violet and banana and wowww, so many!
Best.Meal.Ever. Although I do wonder if Ainsley enjoyed it as much because they sat him near the door of the restaurant!?!?!? In fact, I feel partly to blame for that as we asked for a quiet table and they sat us in our own part of the restaurant and the Maitre de came over to say “we’ll keep this part of the restaurant quiet for you until it gets busier later, hope that’s OK”.
I runned a marathon
May 10, 2007 Uncategorized
OK, so I didn’t. In fact I had it pointed out to me that I ran one fricking FIFTH of a marathon! But today was a bit of a landmark event as I managed to run for one hour! At 8.5kph! Where the hell are the trumpets and streamers?!!?!?!? Now I just have to multiply that by 5. Oh God, please somebody break my legs!
Recent Films…
May 7, 2007 Uncategorized
Pan’s Labyrinth. Wow what a superb film. The quality of the acting and the story manage to somehow keep from you (until about an hour after it’s finished) how tragic the story really was. A great mix of fantasy and history, the story tells of the daughter of the King of the Underworld who escapes to the world above and is blinded by the light and loses all of her memories… then cuts to the closing part of WWII in Spain. I won’t go into the story any more but it was so beautiful… and *extremely* violent in a couple of its scenes. It’s hard to explain how the film manages to weave together fantasy and relationships and war and reality so seamlessly. It’s something that very few films ever manage. 8.5/10. p.s. the image is from the films scariest creature, thank god it wasn’t in it for long!
Blood Diamond. I dunno, I just couldn’t get into it. I found the relationships a bit messy, it was just too long, and well, I just find the whole Africa thing so depressing. I think when you have such a depressing subject that you have to treat it in a not too preachy/well meaning manner. For example God of War managed it perfectly. 6/10
World Trade Center. Pretty good, far too long again but still well done. The only big criticism is that with such a slow paced film it was extremely rushed in the last 10 minutes. It should have just ended quietly. 7/10
Le Roast Beef
May 7, 2007 Uncategorized
Sunday Lunch. It’s such a difficult thing to get right but it should be so easy. The simple instructions are…
- Get the vegetables just right, not too many – people ain’t choosing Roast Beef for the cabbage are they? Something simple that doesn’t absorb too much water. Maybe green beans and a nice carrot/swede mix. Or some roast parsnips maybe.
- Don’t fuck up the roast potatoes! They’re more often under cooked than over cooked. And hard roast potatoes are just a disaster. Correct quantity? 4 small to mediums rather than the risky big ones that never taste as nice anyway.
- The meat: with a meal that has lots of ingredients all merging on the plate you need to make sure the meat isn’t fatty. Two nice, decent sized pieces of chicken or beef, simple.
- Extra bits, don’t just offer rubbish mustard, have a selection! Mustard, Horseradish (home made), mint sauce… mmmm mint sauce, gravy and roasts! dribble
- Gravy, oh my god how to mess up a Sunday Lunch… don’t put enough gravy on! Everyone likes gravy, so give your customers an extra little jug of it!
The point of all this? Well about a month ago I thought I’d had the best Sunday Lunch in the world at West Stoke House, the staff are excellent, the building is perfect and the food was wonderful. But yesterday it was trumped by Cassons Restaurant. The roast potatoes were excellent, the yorkshire pud was lovely, the gravy was great (it had mustard in it) and the vegetables were a perfect compliment. But mainly the roast beef (which was cut from the Chateaubriand) was sublime. Mmmm cow. Now if Cassons could just get it’s normal menu and pricing right, I might just move in, make room in the bed!
OK one more quote
May 6, 2007 Uncategorized
“On the boat I opened a bag of pork scratchings. Jim manifested himself at my knee. He sat down – Can I have a scratching? Then he lay down – Can I have a scratching? Then he rolled on his back and waved his legs in the air – Please please can I have a scratching? Then he sat up and look straight at me – What do you want me to do – sing ‘Moon Fucking River’?
hehehehe, buy the book already!
The Frog of Plush
May 6, 2007 Uncategorized
You know you’re reading a good book when you’re constantly told to BE QUIET for falling into fits of giggles. Narrow Dog to Carcassonne is one of those great books. It’s the true story about a retired couple and their dog Jim (pronounced Sheem by the French which took me ages to realise) who sail/drive/boat their narrow boat from central England to the south of France! The style at first annoyed the hell out of me as you couldn’t work out who was talking, but I soon settled into Terry’s very poetic prose style. It’s a book anyone could love and a fantastic incentive to live life to the full. I wanted to quote just one long section from the book…
“Another thing, I said – it isn’t fair to put Jim in his kennel every night. Why Not? said Monica – he’s a dog. It’s a lovely comfortable kennel. He goes there a lot on his own. But if we give him his freedom at night, I said, he can sleep in my chair, or on the sofa, according to his whim. That dog is all whim, said Monica. The creature is ruined. He outwits you at everything. Whippets are supposed to have a gentle nature, not be following you round staring and yipping and hustling for treats and walks all day and listening for words so you have to spell things out like the country singer singing ‘D.I.V.O.R.C.E.’. He’s cunning, and passive-aggressive, and thieving and disrespectful.
But we have got this lovely boat, I said. And on a narrowboat everything must be used all the time. We must share our blessings. Why shouldn’t the poor creature sleep where he wishes? Because he’ll finish up on the bed, said Monica, and we’ll finish up in the kennel. Oh no, I said, oh no, that battle is won. He comes on the bed by invitation only and never at night. He’s accepted that. Animals are very sensitive about hierachy, and about space: about where they are allowed to lie – they never challenge the space of the alpha male. Which one is the alpha male? asked Monica. Me, I said – don’t worry about Jim, he knows how far he can go.
Jim went to his kennel in the bow towards the end of the evening and when we were going to bed he came down the boat a little and quietly occupied my chair and curled up. There you are, I said, how sweet. When I got up in the night for a pee he was a bit nearer, on the sofa, fast asleep. When I woke up in the morning he was lying on my chest, looking down my throat.”
See, you’re giggling! BE QUIET!