This Post Comes with A Parental Advisory Warning
Jul 25, 2007 Uncategorized
OK prepare yourself.
Are you worldy enough, do you have an open mind… to consider man-on-animal love?
Now, I bet you’ve been immediately repulsed and gone “ewwww, I knew that Pete guy was always just wrong!”, but wait, wait a second.
This painting below is beautiful art right? It’s a gorgeous oil painting, it’s very famous, it’s about a *god*, it’s mythology… there is nothing wrong about this at all, because it’s *art*.
So, if that photo of the Greek god Zeus visiting Leda and showing her a beaking good time is acceptable….
Then surely, so is this?
Stop saying “ewwww”!!!!!
Anyway, just before you call the police, let me explain. On our way to Cornwall, we stopped off at the Swannery in Abbotsbury. It’s home to the only colony of nesting mute swans open to the public in the world, we were tempted in by lots of signs saying “Baby Swans”, now who the hell wouldn’t be tempted at that!
I was slightly miffed at first at having to pay something like 14quid to go and look at a bunch of birds, but the weather was nice and Bob the Killer Robin gave me a good photo opportunity…
Don’t ever anger Bob! hehehe. Anyway, so as we got to the swannery it was impossible not to notice the huge crowds of people caked in mud each with a 12kg FRICKING SWAN attached to their chests like some sort of post modern brooch! It turns out that it was the bi-annual swan upping/counting thing they do! So we edged closer to the fence and watched, then someone said “you’re OK to go beyond the fence”, so we edged over the fence and closed in, then someone said “what are you waiting for? go get a swan!”
Whattttttt?
Everyone, absolutely everyone knows that Swans Can Break A Mans Arm. My sisters had been horribly savaged (ok, I think maybe just chased) by a swan as children and if you knew my sisters you’d understand that swans can inflict life long traumas.
But, what an opportunity! So let me introduce you to Bert, the swan I was, um, well, kissing, in the photo above.
Awwwww! It’s a swan! He liked his neck being stroked! It’s a swan!!!!! We had to carry Bert from station to station where he was weighed, sexed, injected and had his tag checked. It was so cool! His heart beat was like thumpthumpthumpthumpthump against you and whenever he spotted the water his legs waggled and wagggggled!
The slight problem arose when ‘Bert’ was being sexed and they pointed out he was a she. But if Jordan can call her new brat Princess Tiaamii then a female swan can be called Bert!
Was a real life affirming experience. Good luck Bert! Come and visit me one dayyyyyy kissksiskiskisss.
300
Jul 18, 2007 Uncategorized
Pretty much the only reason I’m doing a post about the film 300 is for the Oracle girl. If you’ve seen it then you know what I mean… *wow*!
The film is pretty good, especially when you remember it’s based on a cartoon. But one scene where a beautiful oracle goes into a trance to read the will of the gods is so visually beautiful. Basically the girl floats and dances in the air as if she’s underwater. Hmm, that doesn’t paint much of a picture does it? But the photo above might help a bit, if not then watch the film! Unfortunately the feeling of the scene is totally switched off by some warty freak licking her neck ewwwwwww
I must be thinking about being a bird…
Jul 17, 2007 Uncategorized
I regularly see Spitfire’s flying near my house as I live near to Goodwood Aerodrome and Tangmere Aviation Museum and that gives me an excuse to remind you (The World) that I’d happily kill any one of you for a flight in a Spitfire. On a lighter note I liked this plane quote
“Climbs like a home-sick angel”
My New Bathrooooom!
Jul 15, 2007 Uncategorized
Isn’t it looking gorgeous?
Day 1: Bathroom is gutted but somehow the workmen manage to steal half of the room as it seems only 50% as big as it was before
Day 2: Workman smashes hole through to one of the bedroom walls by accident
Day 3: Workman has small leak, well not him personally – but a pipe, causes damage on ceiling below
Day 4: Workman not impressed when I ask him what he’s going to do today, “burn the house down?”
iWant
Jul 2, 2007 Uncategorized
If no-one buys me an iPhone I’ll be forced to cry – and it won’t be a pretty sight. Seriously though, if this lives up to half its promises then it’ll be great.
- Shiny
- Slim
- Oooh Google Apps
What more is needed in life? Wait, you say it’s a telephone as well?!!?!?!?! *quimper*